Because there is no excuse for not giving a damn

Bad customer service makes Baby Jesus cry

Reposted from: http://ken-jennings.com/blog/?p=671

This is a post about the true meaning of Christmas: revenge.

Back in October, Mindy ordered a rocking horse from BackToBasicsToys.com (their plush spring horse) for Caitlin’s birthday. As the weeks went by, the estimated delivery date slipped three times, and the horse never showed up.

Caitlin’s birthday passed, with no horse. When the third delivery date passed with no horse, Mindy called Back to Basics Toys. “Yes, we canceled that order. There must have been some issue with your credit card.”

“And you didn’t tell me or note the cancellation on your website, which still lists the order as active?” Mindy wasn’t happy with the screwup (needless to say, the credit card was just fine) but the guy reassured her that he could replace the order and the horse would make it here in time for Christmas.

One week later, no horse. Mindy notices the new order isn’t even showing up on-line at backtobasicstoys.com and calls Back to Basics Toys, er, back. They can’t find any trace of the second order, and now they can’t get us the horse by Christmas, because they’re sold out. They also came to our house wearing boots and kicked our kids in the head.

Mindy was pissed. “So that’s it? After screwing up twice, there’s nothing else you’re willing to do to try and keep me as a customer?”

“Uh, well, I guess we could give you 15% off in January when the item’s back in stock.”

So that’s exactly what my customerness is worth to them. That’s also their idea of the fair-market value of a little girl’s ruined birthday and Christmas. The 15%-off coupon that they probably e-mail out to “We Want You Back” onetime customers anyway.

Hey, their call. I looked around online and found other horror stories from scarred BackToBasicsToys customers. These guy may sell nice toys, but they have no clue what they’re doing when they sell them, and try very hard to give the impression that they don’t care. At all.

As a consumer, I don’t have very many options. In a perfectly elastic market, people would immediately figure out that Back to Basics Toys sucks and they would either have to fix the problems or go under. But capitalism isn’t nearly that efficient, sadly.

I do have one thing Back to Basics Toys doesn’t: a blog that gets read by tens of thousands of people and Googles up fairly readily. So the least I can do for you this holiday season, Back to Basics Toys, is try to make sure everyone knows how incompetent you are. Hey, this wasn’t my choice. We asked what it was worth to you to keep us as a customer and the answer was “Almost nothing.”

So I’ll mention their name a lot here and maybe this will be a prominent result in future when someone searches on-line for “Back to Basics Toys” or wants to buy a plush spring horse. (From backtobasicstoys.com. Which allegedly sells plush spring horses. Got that, Google?) And they’ll know to stay far, far away.

Tell your friends. Back to Basics Toys sucks. Maybe this can be the Hot New Internet Thing. Spread it around. “Petty Jeopardy! guy declares war on rocking-horse company” isn’t really as memorable a Christmas meme as “OfficeMax will make you dance like an elf” but it has a certain charm.